Tuesday, November 20, 2012
To Propose or not.....That's the question.
The great Sir Winston Churchill once said “My most brilliant achievement was my ability
to be able to persuade my wife to marry me”.
10years ago, during the ‘Ovation Magazine’ days, I don’t think a lot of us looked
out for marriage proposals. Some of us just looked forward to having a big wedding,
a big ‘Ovation’ wedding as I used to call it then. Fast forward to 2010/2012 – Bella
Naija has given me more than two reasons to look forward to a proper marriage proposal.
I read those wonderful stories and I just fantasize how and what mine would look
like. No, I don’t like surprises. I just want to wake up one morning right beside
him with a ring on my finger and a cute snuggle from him cooing into my ears “Babycakes,
will you marry me?” And I’ll start crying and go “yes Cookies, yes”.
Like Nigerian Policemen would say “HOL’ IT !!
“Propose ke? Baby, you know I’m an unorthodox person. I’m not cut out for stuff
like that. You know we’re getting married, you know you’re my wife – so what’s all
that mini ceremony for? “But you have to propose” I protested stubbornly. “says who?”
Who makes these rules baby? Ok wait, let me ask you this “will you marry me?” I replied
“of course yes, but......” “That’s the point, you already said it, I’ve proposed
and you already acquiesced.
I didn’t want to push the issue so I just allowed it slide. We got home that night
and he seriously told me he didn’t believe in marriage proposals. He believes we
both know what we share and where our relationship was heading. He loves me no doubt,
buying the ring isn’t the problem – he just doesn’t like the whole proposal drama.
Alright, let’s get to know me. I’m a 28yr old Investment Banker. Been dating my boyfriend/fiancé
for 5yrs now (well 5yrs Dec. 20th 2012) and trust me, we love each other to bits
and we respect each other. We know where we’re headed and all that. He spoke to me
over the phone 3months ago that he was on his way to my mum’s with the intention
of speaking with her about having an introduction in December and getting married
latest July. I told him I didn’t have a problem with that (I was at work at the time,
about to attend a meeting with my boss so couldn’t comprehend fully what he was on
After the meeting, I thought to myself “what?? Dude didn’t even propose? Chei!”
so I started looking for the best opportunity to ask or better still, demand for
Last weekend at his house, while helping me tie my shoelaces, he asked what I wanted
for Christmas (which is what we both do every November) and I replied “I want an
engagement ring”. Guess what his response was? “I’ll give it to you at the registry
then. Let’s go to the registry this Christmas baby and you’ll get your rock”. I
thought to myself again “This is daylight robbery o! Chai !”
So Ladies, what’s your take on marriage proposals? Is it compulsory that he proposes
to you? What if he doesn’t? Should men be forced to propose? Would you break up
with him if he insists on not proposing? Guys, what do you think? Do you believe
in marriage proposals? Is it “African”?