Tuesday, November 20, 2012

To Propose or not.....That's the question.

The great Sir Winston Churchill once said “My most brilliant achievement was my ability
to be able to persuade my wife to marry me”.

10years ago, during the ‘Ovation Magazine’ days, I don’t think a lot of us looked
out for marriage proposals. Some of us just looked forward to having a big wedding,
a big ‘Ovation’ wedding as I used to call it then. Fast forward to 2010/2012 – Bella
Naija has given me more than two reasons to look forward to a proper marriage proposal.
I read those wonderful stories and I just fantasize how and what mine would look
like. No, I don’t like surprises. I just want to wake up one morning right beside
him with a ring on my finger and a cute snuggle from him cooing into my ears “Babycakes,
will you marry me?” And I’ll start crying and go “yes Cookies, yes”.

Like Nigerian Policemen would say “HOL’ IT !!

“Propose ke? Baby, you know I’m an unorthodox person. I’m not cut out for stuff
like that. You know we’re getting married, you know you’re my wife – so what’s all
that mini ceremony for? “But you have to propose” I protested stubbornly. “says who?”
Who makes these rules baby? Ok wait, let me ask you this “will you marry me?” I replied
“of course yes, but......” “That’s the point, you already said it, I’ve proposed
and you already acquiesced.
I didn’t want to push the issue so I just allowed it slide. We got home that night
and he seriously told me he didn’t believe in marriage proposals. He believes we
both know what we share and where our relationship was heading. He loves me no doubt,
buying the ring isn’t the problem – he just doesn’t like the whole proposal drama.

Alright, let’s get to know me. I’m a 28yr old Investment Banker. Been dating my boyfriend/fiancé
for 5yrs now (well 5yrs Dec. 20th 2012) and trust me, we love each other to bits
and we respect each other. We know where we’re headed and all that. He spoke to me
over the phone 3months ago that he was on his way to my mum’s with the intention
of speaking with her about having an introduction in December and getting married
latest July. I told him I didn’t have a problem with that (I was at work at the time,
about to attend a meeting with my boss so couldn’t comprehend fully what he was on

After the meeting, I thought to myself “what?? Dude didn’t even propose? Chei!”
so I started looking for the best opportunity to ask or better still, demand for
it. Lol
Last weekend at his house, while helping me tie my shoelaces, he asked what I wanted
for Christmas (which is what we both do every November) and I replied “I want an
engagement ring”. Guess what his response was? “I’ll give it to you at the registry
then. Let’s go to the registry this Christmas baby and you’ll get your rock”. I
thought to myself again “This is daylight robbery o! Chai !”

So Ladies, what’s your take on marriage proposals? Is it compulsory that he proposes
to you? What if he doesn’t? Should men be forced to propose? Would you break up
with him if he insists on not proposing? Guys, what do you think? Do you believe
in marriage proposals? Is it “African”?


  1. that is her fate if she did not say it out... more entertainment gist and news here at www.gistyinka.com

  2. I'm doing it o.. Not cos i think it's necessary but just to amuse myself.. Lol... Really though, I don't think it's as important as we make it seem...

  3. Nice post.. Bobo is proud. Since I'm not going to be getting married, I would like a woman to propose to me. A rich princess from Dubai.. Only then will I say yes.. ^_^

  4. This is my own contribution as a view in relation of this topic.

    Firstly, man is not a covenant or promise keeper because man is human. Secondly, Love is not all about promise through proposal because Love is not an human. Thirdly, marriage is not a mouth watering institution because its not free of charge.

    The best way to propose is by commitment. Commitment is the key to marriage that gives quality or shows the result of the relationship towards entering the gate of the marriage. And a lots of principles and resources are needed to keep the happiness in the relationship going like forgiveness, endurance, patience and tolerance, honesty and so on. So, all these portrays the spirit of LOVE and they the prices to marriage. So, if any lovers don't portray these acts, they are not fit for the marriage. So, I don't really believe in proposal because it takes two to become one into marriage. Many have used and will still use proposal to get a wrong marriage because they don't know what LOVE and its principles are. Proposal is partially vital but commitment is the test, either we pass or fail, both are essential to find the right partner. If u pass, go ahead. If u fail, keep searching. COMMITMENT is the way.

    @kayjavu twitter

    Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone provided by Airtel Nigeria.

  5. Welcome Back! lol Well, it's 50-50...some of us took the 'Would you go out with me?' to be equivalent to a 'tentative proposal' and kept all the Rings till Traditional/Church Wedding..hehehe What I personally believe is that, if you know it's what She Dreams about, make her Happy and do it, but if She's the 'Hey! Cut to the Chase Type', just get it Over and Done With!

  6. It is compulsory he proposes o.. It might not be with all the paparazzi.. If he doesn't.. *sighs*

  7. that's the fun and the most interesting part!most especially when it comes in a surprising way which i look forward to !winks!