Girl A: I heard Deji and Sandra broke up. I'm so shocked!!
Girl B: Awwwwwwwwwwn (I so dislike that expression), poor girl. How will she cope? After wasting 3 precious, nonrefundable years of her life with him!!! Kai! Men are horrible!!!
Why are we like this in this world? Dear men, I sympathize with you, yes, we're always unfair to you and I deeply apologize. That's why I'm dedicating this post to you. Yes you!!
To start with, why do we think you guys have no feelings? Who told us that? A girl and a guy DATED not like they just had sex and moved on - they actually dated for 3 years and they eventually broke up due to one foolishness or the other and someone will say 'poor girl',how about the 'poor boy'? We don't care I guess. "After wasting 3 precious, nonrefundable years of her life with him" - so the guy can walk into a 'lifebank' and cash the 3years back right? You're a mean person. We're quick to assume the guy caused (or wanted )the breakup and we go running to the 'poor girl',giving her tissue-laced shoulders; "here's where to cry upon love,just shed those tears sweetie.He's a mean son-of-a-witch". Hian!!
Men have emotions too!!!! Yes I'm screaming! They sure have emotions too, they get heartbroken too - no they don't go around town crying unlike we 'fragile vessels' called women. Men deal with heartbreaks differently but I can confidently say a good percentage of men don't wear their emotions on their sleeves. There are some really emotional ones(yes,the weepy ones - they make me puke sef),while some appear tough. The former will go around town telling all your friends how he did this and that for you and you left him in the cold (he would lie join),he'll stop by at your mum's office and cry to her,your cousins won't be left out. By the time he's done with you,hmmmm,(I'm shaking my head for you)- while the latter goes around having fun,sleeping around,clubbing etc -don't get it twisted,it's a facade;trust me,deep down, this dude hurts badly. When he gets home at night, he cusses into the mirror, he scrolls down and checks your number on his phone (if he still has it) and cusses you in Swahili. In fact, he'll never wish the girl well anywhere she goes. Sharaway, don't say it's impossible, that type of guy will agree with me once he reads this.
Maybe our men need to slow down on the 'toughness', y'all need to show the women that y'all have emotions too. Don't let the women grab all the pity-parties. Y'all need them too. Y'all need shoulders to cry on too. Get on twitter,wail and tweet how you so loved her and she left you hanging after 3 non-refundable years. Twitpic a picture of you in sack clothes and rolling in ashes, show us your teary eyes, write an article detailing how cruel women are (and send it to Bella Naija+Linda Ikeji),starve yourself and you must lose weight in the process o (not like those people who get fatter during lent)so you can show the whole world how the heartbreak made you lose weight.
My dear men, I wrote this for you. I know my fellow women will eat me raw for this but the only way you can make me smile is by appreciating this write-up. Looooooool
I leave you with this awesome (smile) track from Micheal Bolton - How Am I Supposed To Live Without You.